1. Today I mostly felt...Tired and had clarity of thought
2. The things mostly on my mind... How much I want that Fucking Rocket Raccoon action figure.
3. Was I emotionally receptive? Yes
4. What did I enjoy about today? My wife
5. How am I changing? My best friend put it this way, I not sure why but it felt a little derogatory " I am become emotionally invested in my marriage.
6. Something that I like about me is? I am creative.
7. What behaviors do I need to keep? Loving my wife more and being creative.
8. What behaviors do I need to adjust? Obsessive thoughts
9. How did I sleep last night? well
10. How did I progress today? not sure if i did, i jsut kinda relaxed
11. Did I accomplish yesterday's goal? yeah
12. My goal for tomorrow is... Spend more quality time with the wife. and maybe clean
13. Did I relate well with others today? yeah
14. Any triggers? no
15. How did I deal with the trigger? no trigger
16. Was I mostly depressed, normal, or manic? depressed
17. When did I take my night pills? 10.10
18. Did I take all of today's pills? half
19. Was I ill?No 
 

I feel like the past few day have been a new Spencerian for me. I am really grateful for my wife. She does things for me and with me that I thought no-one else would. I realized more than ever that I am now not alone in my mad adventures. Things are changing with our family. She is having to move to another store to mange that is going to make a huge dent in our fiances because of how far away it is.

 This week I also made my own Rocket Raccoon hoodie. It was a thing of mania and session. I love it, mostly because it's the first thing i have sewn since junior high home ec, and my wife helped me make it. My hand aren't as steady as they used to be. It took me aroun 5-6 minutes to thread the needle on the sewing machine, she helped me with the hand sewing. It really help my mind doing it. I was clear in away i haven't been in year. I really do love making things with my hand. I may not be able to keep even a little bit of SQL schooling in my head. But I can sew a half decent hoodie in a day. 

My best friend always seem too busy to be present with me. When we hang out he seems guarded and lost in his head. I miss the lack of bullshit that we both used to have. Any time I go to hang out with him I feel like a annoying  younger brother, rather than a hetero-life-mate. He does have a lot on his plate with his relationships. But I feel like I get the left over tired guy with his head everywhere but with me, when we do stuff. (I feel like a whinny school girl.)

 I really need to use one of the last two appointment with my therapist I have to get things straight in my head. And get my Cpap machine, and return phone calls from the past week. But I really dont want to deal with people.